Archive for the ‘Pop Culture/Media’ Category
Nov 20, 2019
The Flash: A Body Horror Time Travel Crime Thriller (Fan Fiction)

The Screaming Horror Flash

The Flash: A Body Horror Time Travel Crime Thriller (Fan Fiction)
By Chongchen Saelee

My idea for how to do The Flash for the big screen. It would be a mix between Hellraiser, The Time Machine, and Altered States.

The basic premise is that Barry Allen is a crime scene investigator who can’t get over the death of his wife having found her skinned when he shows up by chance at a crime scene. So he makes a deal with The Devil in an attempt to bring his wife back to life. Of course, shit goes to hell when he’s working in the lab and is struck by red lightning, the building burns down, and his body disappears. Everyone assumes he’s dead. (more…)

Oct 7, 2019
The Dead Fish Trap: A Scary Southeast Asian Tale

The Dead Fish Trap

The Dead Fish Trap


The Dead Fish Trap: A Scary Southeast Asian Tale
An early Halloween treat from Chongchen Saelee

Deep in the jungles of Southeast Asia where it constantly rains and the dark brown earth is covered by darker shadows from the thick canopy above, the people struggle to survive day-to-day despite living in an environment that seems to be fertile with life and serene.

One day, along a stretch of man-made trail, which was no wider than 2 feet and was basically bare dirt surrounded by thick grass from all the years of people trekking the same path, a gang of young dirty starving but happy children none older than about 10 years of age were walking and chattering carrying a small worn-out wooden bucket filled with a couple small fish from a fishing outing by the creek earlier.

From the opposite end of the trail approached an old bald fisherman with spots on his bald scalp and he had a long unkempt white beard. The old man was really thin, his eyes were baggy and tired, and he was always smiling and humming old songs but his teeth were yellow and crooked and many had fallen out. The old man was carrying a crude fishing rod made from bamboo and had a fancy bamboo weaved basket, a decent size, which might hint for locals that he may be quite proficient at what he did. The old man had a pipe dangling in his mouth, although it wasn’t stuffed or lit. He enjoyed smoking opium while he fished.

When the old fisherman and the gang of youths eventually meet in the middle of the trail, the old man couldn’t resist the youths’ potent young energy. The old man asked to see what kind of fish the children had caught and they were more than happy to brag about their measly two tiny fish. The old man laughed loudly and insulted the children, calling them stupid and smelly and dispensed his tips and tricks on how to catch the biggest fish in the village, fish so big you could eat for an entire week. (more…)

Apr 12, 2019
Star Wars Episode IX Rise of Skywalker Teaser Trailer is Online!!!

Meh. Awesome CGI though. Music’s always good. But everything else isn’t. Nostalgia factor practically is gone. And nostalgia is a huge part of Star Wars success, a bunch of men who can’t grow up reliving their childhood about the first time they experienced “new worlds”. You can remedy that in real life by meeting new people and being more open-minded of people and cultures that are different than your own. Living on movies with people in green and blue makeup isn’t going to fix that.

Feb 1, 2019
Serenity EX2: The Further Adventures of Baker Dil

Serenity poster

Serenity poster


Serenity EX2: The Further Adventures of Baker Dil

A fan fiction by Cnoknor Salihiwi IV

I didn’t always go by Baker Dillon, or Baker Dil for short. I escaped a troubled past. It’s been so long, I don’t even remember why or maybe I’ve just blocked it out. But I’m Baker Dil nowadays. The name just sounds more freeing.

Here I am on my heroic mystical quest into uncharted territories aboard my ship The Serenity. This time, I’m on the search for the dragon brothers that have been terrorizing Plymouth: Bowser, Gandondorf, and Ridley. I’m headed for the highest point on top of Mount Greyskull, yes, I know it sounds ominous, where I heard menacing dragons like to roost.

I was given this glowing golden sword by an old wise speaking owl while trekking through the forest nude. I found trekking nude as liberating to my soul as swimming nude in the open water. It’s like a rebirth every time.

Legend has it, I need to slay these dragons with this golden sword because it has been endowed with magical powers. I suppose I could use a harpoon gun but I just have to take the wise owl’s word for it. I’ve cheated death too many times based on my own whims or someone else’s. It was when I left my fate up to divine intervention is when I knew I was on the right side of God. He’s carried me this far.
(more…)

Dec 11, 2018
Aquaman 2018 Film Theme Soundtrack Lyrics (Warning Spoilers)

Aquaman

Aquaman


Aquaman 2018 Film Theme Soundtrack Lyrics (Warning Spoilers)

Copyright © Chonkey Zimmern and Henry Gossitt Werner

Deep in the blue beyond
An epic war rages on
Searching for the ultimate peacekeeper
To bridge the great divide

They call him
Aqua-Man (Aqua) (Aqua) (Aqua)

AQUA-MAN!!!

Aqua-fellow
in yellow
and one mean badass
in green

He’s AQUA-MAN!!! (Aqua) (Aqua) (Aqua)

AQUA-MAN!!!

He’s the son of the ultimate underwater queen
and some schlub who drinks booze
and jerks off in a lighthouse at night
when it gets really cooooold
(more…)

Aug 1, 2018
What it’s like to be poor? A Soliloquy

Empty Wallet

Empty Wallet

What it’s like to be poor?
By Chongchen Saelee

What it’s like to be poor?
You’re always frowning
Your neck’s always itching like a dog
Your clothes don’t fit

You got The Beach Boys Greatest Hits on your mind
But you don’t have a smartphone to listen to any of them
Your last dollar was spent on something foolish
Like a lottery ticket instead of a cheeseburger

You’re sleeping on the floor
And your face is a globe for flies
And you don’t have the energy to clap along
To the hum of the insects wings buzzing by your ear
(more…)

Jul 20, 2018
How To Read Attacker’s Face In Fight

Here are some sketches I’ve done to show you the faces of attackers might have during a life or death confrontation. I’m not an expert, but it might help some.

Read Faces of Attacker in Fight

Read Faces of Attacker in Fight

 

 



1. The attacker is just puffing up his chest, showboating. If the attacker is armed, he might even fire some “warning” shots to show how tough and bad-ass he is. He wants you to think he means business. In actuality, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. An attacker with the intent to kill would kill someone without hesitation without any of this macho theatre. Of course, I’m not an expert. Don’t go putting yourself in front of a bullet’s path.



2. The attacker is enraged, possibly preparing for actual fight or flight mode. A lot of fear at this stage. May even be the expression during the actual attack or fight.

(more…)

Jul 18, 2018
Green Lantern Corps: Lethal Weapon in Space

My sampling of what it could be:

Earth’s orbit

John Stewart and Hal Jordan are cruising along in a flashy vintage space speeder. Stewart is treating Jordan to lunch at a new satellite diner receiving rave reviews, just got a new shipment of cryogenic fresh food from “mother rock”. Somekind of newly genetically hybridized squid-pig.

Stewart: I hear ISS-F41 got a new shipment of goodies from mother rock. Somekind of new meat hybrid, squid-pig, or squid-cow, I think. Been looking to try it. What about you, Hal?

Jordan: Uck! What are they doing down there on mother rock? What happened to good ol’ hybrid land animals? The ida of mixing sea and land creatures together makes my stomach churn!

Stewart: Really? Remember that mystery meat we ate last week? The one you seemingly howled at the moon over?

Jordan: Yeah, what about it? It was cow-pig, right? Quite delicious.

Stewart: Haha. That was otter-jellyfish.

Jordan: Nah. I know my meats. It was cow-pig.

Stewart: ISS-F32 only gets shipments from the Pacific Coast. They don’t specialize in land hybrids. Ya sure?

Jordan silent. Then humiliated.

Jordan: God damnit. The servers on ISS-F32 were Asian!

Stewart and Jordan burst out in laughter.

Stewart and Jordan gracefully dock their vintage space speeder outside ISS-F41, a satellite diner that just opened. It used to be an international armory, but due to administrative corruption and becoming a hub for illegal drug smuggling, ISS-F41 was eventually shut down, bought out by the United Nations Space Reform Coalition, and converted into an international food vendor.

Stewart and Jordan inside ISS-F41, surrounded by other astronauts, servicemen, space lawmen, etc.

Stewart ordered the squid-pig, which came in a heated transparent pouch, looking like a pink human fetus lab experiment. But Stewart was smacking his lips with glee.

Jordan ordered the cow-pig, his favorite. He also enjoyed the green kale and gasoline smoothies. All the foods came in translucent pouches, looking like diarrhea or filled douchebags. But all around the space diner, the patrons were slurping it up, licking their fingers, wiping their greasy chins. Nothing unusual about the norm.

Jordan: Say, partner, did you hear about this new program they got building up over there in sector GL-88?
(more…)

Jul 6, 2018
How To Play MIDI music files on Windows 10 with VLC Media Player

If you missed being able to play MIDI music files on Windows by default, now you can play those tunes you remember again with VLC Media Player version 3.0+. Apparently, there was a security flaw in FluidSynth for VLC version 2.0.x, so MIDI support was dropped until version 3.0+. So download the latest version 3.0.3 (as of this post) along with the free soundfont file VLC recommends, configure Fluidsynth to point to the soundfont through VLC settings, and you’ll be listening to those old video game tunes in no time!

Follow the instructions here: https://wiki.videolan.org/Midi/#Play_.mid_.28MIDI.29_files_in_VLC

Jun 25, 2018
Fanfic: Batman and Joker Catch a Train

Batman and Joker Catch a Train
A Fan-fiction By Chongchen Saelee

It’s near sunset in Gotham City and at Gotham Train Station, the miserable Gotham citizen rat passengers were scurrying on and off the grimy, rusted, piss-stench cars, just getting off of work or headed to work, going home, dropping off the molly, off to see a cheap hooker or two, the usual.

Gotham was never a quiet, peaceful city. The cold, dry, midnight blue air always seemed to be filled with gunfire, police car sirens, some pimp and his whores arguing about money, babies crying, and doors slamming in shadows where doors couldn’t possibly exist.

There was a commotion in one of the rear cars of the high-speed train, and as usual, Gotham City Police Department would respond late or not at all, even if someone was bleeding to death and the police dispatch center lit up with calls. As the sun finally turned dark purple and crept into the dark horizon of Gotham’s cityscape, the crowd was murmuring and surrounding a colorful scene in that rear car.

The music started, blasting from some crudely duct-taped smartphones attached to amplifiers, and the sound of kazoos and exploding party poppers filled the crowded car as the train screeched into motion. And from within the mass of Gotham passenger rats came a distinctive, falsetto, almost hawk squawking laughter, a purple suited, white face-painted clown, with green unkept hair, and a smile that seemed permanently fixed to his plasticky face. He was juggling, doing pratfalls, telling humorous raunchy jokes, and was so charming, even the dripping snot-nosed children with the dirt smeared faces were laughing their little faces off, tugging their tired disheveled mother’s coats for a quarter to give to the clown.
(more…)