Archive for the ‘Pop Culture/Media’ Category
Oct 7, 2019
The Dead Fish Trap: A Scary Southeast Asian Tale

The Dead Fish Trap

The Dead Fish Trap

The Dead Fish Trap: A Scary Southeast Asian Tale
An early Halloween treat from Chongchen Saelee

Deep in the jungles of Southeast Asia where it constantly rains and the dark brown earth is covered by darker shadows from the thick canopy above, the people struggle to survive day-to-day despite living in an environment that seems to be fertile with life and serene.

One day, along a stretch of man-made trail, which was no wider than 2 feet and was basically bare dirt surrounded by thick grass from all the years of people trekking the same path, a gang of young dirty starving but happy children none older than about 10 years of age were walking and chattering carrying a small worn-out wooden bucket filled with a couple small fish from a fishing outing by the creek earlier.

From the opposite end of the trail approached an old bald fisherman with spots on his bald scalp and he had a long unkempt white beard. The old man was really thin, his eyes were baggy and tired, and he was always smiling and humming old songs but his teeth were yellow and crooked and many had fallen out. The old man was carrying a crude fishing rod made from bamboo and had a fancy bamboo weaved basket, a decent size, which might hint for locals that he may be quite proficient at what he did. The old man had a pipe dangling in his mouth, although it wasn’t stuffed or lit. He enjoyed smoking opium while he fished.

When the old fisherman and the gang of youths eventually meet in the middle of the trail, the old man couldn’t resist the youths’ potent young energy. The old man asked to see what kind of fish the children had caught and they were more than happy to brag about their measly two tiny fish. The old man laughed loudly and insulted the children, calling them stupid and smelly and dispensed his tips and tricks on how to catch the biggest fish in the village, fish so big you could eat for an entire week. (more…)

Apr 12, 2019
Star Wars Episode IX Rise of Skywalker Teaser Trailer is Online!!!

Meh. Awesome CGI though. Music’s always good. But everything else isn’t. Nostalgia factor practically is gone. And nostalgia is a huge part of Star Wars success, a bunch of men who can’t grow up reliving their childhood about the first time they experienced “new worlds”. You can remedy that in real life by meeting new people and being more open-minded of people and cultures that are different than your own. Living on movies with people in green and blue makeup isn’t going to fix that.

Feb 1, 2019
Serenity EX2: The Further Adventures of Baker Dil

Serenity poster

Serenity poster

Serenity EX2: The Further Adventures of Baker Dil

A fan fiction by Cnoknor Salihiwi IV

I didn’t always go by Baker Dillon, or Baker Dil for short. I escaped a troubled past. It’s been so long, I don’t even remember why or maybe I’ve just blocked it out. But I’m Baker Dil nowadays. The name just sounds more freeing.

Here I am on my heroic mystical quest into uncharted territories aboard my ship The Serenity. This time, I’m on the search for the dragon brothers that have been terrorizing Plymouth: Bowser, Gandondorf, and Ridley. I’m headed for the highest point on top of Mount Greyskull, yes, I know it sounds ominous, where I heard menacing dragons like to roost.

I was given this glowing golden sword by an old wise speaking owl while trekking through the forest nude. I found trekking nude as liberating to my soul as swimming nude in the open water. It’s like a rebirth every time.

Legend has it, I need to slay these dragons with this golden sword because it has been endowed with magical powers. I suppose I could use a harpoon gun but I just have to take the wise owl’s word for it. I’ve cheated death too many times based on my own whims or someone else’s. It was when I left my fate up to divine intervention is when I knew I was on the right side of God. He’s carried me this far.

So I was sailing peacefully across the open water when we were attacked by a giant octopus. It was shooting lava out of it’s eyes! Luckily, I had installed new lazer cannons with an upgrade package I bought with my extra earnings from side games. I swear I got extra level skills after I easily defeated the monster. It was as if I was magically teleported to the shore at the dragon’s lair entrance.

My golden sword started glowing and whooshing, and got me wondering how it was making those sounds. But it was as though an arrow appeared before me and pointed me toward the right direction, turning the page in the big book of destiny, and I was just it’s mere player.

I fought my way through skeleton warriors, booby traps, vampires, and headless big bossomed zombie women! Eventually, I made it to the top floor of the castle, which was backlit by endless lighting bolts and an unusually large full moon that never seemed to set. I could see the sun on the opposite side of the sky, the sun and moon out at the same time.

So I got to the top of the castle and the three dragons were frozen in the steps. A message popped up and said I hadn’t leveled up enough. I struck it with my sword a few times but nothing happened. So I sat there and drank the rest of my health potion and enjoyed the scenic view.

Maybe next time, Skeletor. Baker Dil, signing off.

Dec 11, 2018
Aquaman 2018 Film Theme Soundtrack Lyrics (Warning Spoilers)



Aquaman 2018 Film Theme Soundtrack Lyrics (Warning Spoilers)

Copyright © Chonkey Zimmern and Henry Gossitt Werner

Deep in the blue beyond
An epic war rages on
Searching for the ultimate peacekeeper
To bridge the great divide

They call him
Aqua-Man (Aqua) (Aqua) (Aqua)


in yellow
and one mean badass
in green

He’s AQUA-MAN!!! (Aqua) (Aqua) (Aqua)


He’s the son of the ultimate underwater queen
and some schlub who drinks booze
and jerks off in a lighthouse at night
when it gets really cooooold

Yo, who’s that guy in yellow?

He’s quite the super fellow!



Aug 1, 2018
What it’s like to be poor? A Soliloquy

Empty Wallet

Empty Wallet

What it’s like to be poor?
By Chongchen Saelee

What it’s like to be poor?
You’re always frowning
Your neck’s always itching like a dog
Your clothes don’t fit

You got The Beach Boys Greatest Hits on your mind
But you don’t have a smartphone to listen to any of them
Your last dollar was spent on something foolish
Like a lottery ticket instead of a cheeseburger

You’re sleeping on the floor
And your face is a globe for flies
And you don’t have the energy to clap along
To the hum of the insects wings buzzing by your ear

You work, but it’s never enough
You look too dark or you talk too white
You have a college degree but you’re over-qualified
You weren’t born into the right family

Your parents are dead
You got no friends
Your dog got ran over by a truck last month
Your ex-wife ran off with a gigolo
The rats stole your last canned tuna

And there is piss on the newspaper

What’s it like to be poor?
It’s always dreaming of being rich
Then all my problems will go away

Jul 20, 2018
How To Read Attacker’s Face In Fight

Here are some sketches I’ve done to show you the faces of attackers might have during a life or death confrontation. I’m not an expert, but it might help some.

Read Faces of Attacker in Fight

Read Faces of Attacker in Fight



1. The attacker is just puffing up his chest, showboating. If the attacker is armed, he might even fire some “warning” shots to show how tough and bad-ass he is. He wants you to think he means business. In actuality, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. An attacker with the intent to kill would kill someone without hesitation without any of this macho theatre. Of course, I’m not an expert. Don’t go putting yourself in front of a bullet’s path.

2. The attacker is enraged, possibly preparing for actual fight or flight mode. A lot of fear at this stage. May even be the expression during the actual attack or fight.

3. The attacker has been defeated or realize he is mortally wounded. There may be shame in his expression.

If you manage to stop an attacker and for sure know he’s got a defeated expression, no. 3 above, on his face, then you can confidently move along. But an attacker isn’t completely subdued until he’s gone blue and stopped breathing or bled out. Humans can survive much physical trauma actually. Use your best judgment. In most cases, you want to avoid any fight completely.

A. If the attacker is concealing their eyes, it’s probably because they are a trained killer, or understand that their eyes give away their emotions. You might notice soldiers who wear shades to conceal their intent so their enemies or targets can’t “read” them. But sometimes you can tell by their exposed face like the mouth, if the attacker is frowning or screaming. The point being, you want to avoid people who have a gun or knife on you but also has shades on. It might mean they are dangerous people because they’re in this fight or flight situation all the time and know about how to read people, the psychology of combat. Cops are dangerous like this too.

B. If an attacker has a cold, focused, zoned-out look, it means they are willing to kill or have killed before. You should never face off with people like this. There’s a world of difference between a gangster who looks like Face #1 above and Face B. Granted, you don’t want to interact with any attacker who has the drop on you, but the point is, if you can read the attacker correctly, then you can react correctly and possibly make it out safe and alive.


Most attackers are in Face #1 or #2 and are only bluffing. They’re out to scare you only, rob you, intimidate you, and don’t intend on shooting you or killing you. However, if the attacker physically “hurts” you with the intention of saying it’s a warning, it means they are actually working themselves up to killing you, so they are an immediate danger. For example, if an attacker shoots you in the leg or cuts you or pistol whips you and say they don’t intend on killing you, that’s a lie because they’ve just caused you physical harm. They’re testing you to see if you’re willing to let them kill you, see your reaction. But I’m not an expert. This is just my personal experience. You can never predict how an attacker reacts. But it doesn’t hurt to know how to read someone’s face during a fight. It’s about survival. I’m still alive.

Jul 18, 2018
Green Lantern Corps: Lethal Weapon in Space

My sampling of what it could be:

Earth’s orbit

John Stewart and Hal Jordan are cruising along in a flashy vintage space speeder. Stewart is treating Jordan to lunch at a new satellite diner receiving rave reviews, just got a new shipment of cryogenic fresh food from “mother rock”. Somekind of newly genetically hybridized squid-pig.

Stewart: I hear ISS-F41 got a new shipment of goodies from mother rock. Somekind of new meat hybrid, squid-pig, or squid-cow, I think. Been looking to try it. What about you, Hal?

Jordan: Uck! What are they doing down there on mother rock? What happened to good ol’ hybrid land animals? The ida of mixing sea and land creatures together makes my stomach churn!

Stewart: Really? Remember that mystery meat we ate last week? The one you seemingly howled at the moon over?

Jordan: Yeah, what about it? It was cow-pig, right? Quite delicious.

Stewart: Haha. That was otter-jellyfish.

Jordan: Nah. I know my meats. It was cow-pig.

Stewart: ISS-F32 only gets shipments from the Pacific Coast. They don’t specialize in land hybrids. Ya sure?

Jordan silent. Then humiliated.

Jordan: God damnit. The servers on ISS-F32 were Asian!

Stewart and Jordan burst out in laughter.

Stewart and Jordan gracefully dock their vintage space speeder outside ISS-F41, a satellite diner that just opened. It used to be an international armory, but due to administrative corruption and becoming a hub for illegal drug smuggling, ISS-F41 was eventually shut down, bought out by the United Nations Space Reform Coalition, and converted into an international food vendor.

Stewart and Jordan inside ISS-F41, surrounded by other astronauts, servicemen, space lawmen, etc.

Stewart ordered the squid-pig, which came in a heated transparent pouch, looking like a pink human fetus lab experiment. But Stewart was smacking his lips with glee.

Jordan ordered the cow-pig, his favorite. He also enjoyed the green kale and gasoline smoothies. All the foods came in translucent pouches, looking like diarrhea or filled douchebags. But all around the space diner, the patrons were slurping it up, licking their fingers, wiping their greasy chins. Nothing unusual about the norm.

Jordan: Say, partner, did you hear about this new program they got building up over there in sector GL-88?

Stewart: No. I would know.

Jordan: No? It looks interesting. It’s called Green Lancers? Green Landers? Green something.

Stewart: Green Lanterns Corp.

Jordan: Green Lanterns?

Stewart: Green. Lanterns. Corp.

Jordan: But I thought you didn’t know anything about it. Haha.

Stewart: It’s a top secret initiative to recruit average space cops like us to fight an impending alien invasion.

Jordan not sure if Stewart is joking.

Stewart continues to slurp his squid-pig up.

Jordan: Hahaha!

Stewart gives Jordan serious look.

Jordan: Yikes. Are you serious? John, you kidding, right?

Stewart: Haha! Yeah, it’s a joke, man!

Jordan: Jeez. The thing with you former military top brass is you keep too many secrets! Just don’t know when you’re telling the truth or telling a lie that is actually the truth.

Stewart: And you former jet pilots need to know the difference. The universe is never black and white. It wasn’t even but 50 years ago that people were still living on mother rock. We would be out of work or chasing down criminals by foot!

Jordan: What better way to get exercise, though. I recall the training. I spent a few years on mother rock. It’s better to train as a pilot on mother rock because it just looks damn better. If you’re training to pilot spacecraft up here, all you see is black void. There ain’t no amount of VR sim environments that can replicate mother rock’s natural beauty!

Stewart: I was a land commander, way back when, well before you were even born. We only ever traversed sandy plains, dirt, rocks, mountains of dirt and rock.

Jordan: No kidding? Mother rock was still barren even back then?

Stewart: Haha!

A creepy patron is eavesdropping on Stewart and Jordan’s conversation.

Patron: Hello, officers. I hear ya talkin about The Green Lantern Corps?

Stewart: Maybe. What do you know?

The creepy patron holds his fist out in front of him, showing the two space cops the beautiful sparkling emerald ring on his finger.

Stewart reacts weirdly, as though he recognizes it. But then downplays it.

Stewart: Yeah, what’s it mean?

Jordan: It’s a Super Bowl ring, boss? Hahah!

Patron: Hal Jordan, your partner here, Mr. John Stewart, can fill you in on the details. Ask him what it’s like to fly. To really fly?

Jordan: Hey! How do you know our names?! How do you know my name?!!

Patron creepily smiles and walks away.

Jordan gets up to chase the creepy patron, but Stewart reaches out and grabs him, pulls him back into his seat.

Stewart: Listen, Hal…

Jordan: Man, that guy gives me the creeps, John. What’s he talking about? Do you know him?

Stewart: Hal, I think it’s time to tell you the truth… Ask me, Hal…

Jordan: What?

Stewart: Ask me. Ask me what it’s like to fly.

Jordan: I don’t get it. You aren’t a pilot.

Stewart: No, Hal. Ask me what it’s like to fly… to really fly.

Jordan: Haha. You mean fly a plane? Or like fly-fly?

Stewart gives ominous look.

Jordan: No… can’t be.

Stewart: Boy, if you want to know, you’d better ask now. Ask me what it’s like to really fly.

Jordan: Shit. John. What’s it like to really fly?

Stewart gives coy smile. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out something. Slides it on the table.

It’s a Green Lantern ring and it starts glowing.

Jordan: I don’t get it. It’s just a glowing ring.

Stewart: Hal, you have a lot to learn.

Stewart raises his hand and slips the ring on. He clenches his fist and a burst of green light and energy fills the space diner. Everything is covered in green tint and stopped in motion.

Jordan: Whoa! What the hell?!!

Stewart has now transformed into a pulsating green energy, like a green spectre, but he still has a humanoid form.

Jordan: Arrrhhhh!!! John! John! What’s happening?! Man, you’re a ghost! What?!!

Stewart: Calm down, Hal. I’m still John Stewart. But I’m also a Green Lantern. Welcome to the Green Lantern Corps, rookie.

Jordan: How?

Stewart manifests another Green Lantern ring by pulling it out from his own ring on his finger. He hands it to Jordan.

Stewart: Put it on. You are a Green Lantern now.

Jordan: Uh…

Stewart: Put the ring on. Then ask me what it’s like to really fly.

Jordan: Fine.

Jordan puts on the ring and…

Now Stewart and Jordan are floating out in the middle of black space, both in spectral Green Lantern form.

Jordan screaming in horror.

Jordan: What’s going on here, John!!! How is this happening?!!

Stewart: Haha! Notice something strange?

Jordan: I dunno, man! We’re green ghosts floating in the middle of space!

Stewart: Floating? Or flying?

Jordan: Holy shit. We’re flying! But how?

Stewart: The universe has all your answers, Green Lantern. You know what it’s like to be tasered?

Jordan: Of course. It’s one of the first things cadets experience during training.

Stewart: Do you feel that similar sensation now?

Jordan: Yeah. I think so.

Stewart: That is the living life force of the universe. That is how we “fly”. We are not in our humanly forms right now. This is our Green Lantern spectral form. You can lean on universe and it’ll lean right back. I guess you can say it lifts and carries you where ever you want to go. Go ahead, give it a try.

Jordan: How?

Stewart: It’s like swimming and walking at the same time.

Jordan: OK…

Stewart demonstrates how to fly as a Green Lantern. Jordan watches in awe.

Jordan floats in space awkwardly. He comically tries to move, but starts spinning out of control in place.

Stewart starts laughing at him.

The Jordan tries to stop himself by spreading out his limbs. Instead of stopping, Jordan balloons up as huge green ball of energy and explodes.

Stewart is laughing harder.

Stewart: Hal, you gotta learn to control your energy. Otherwise the universe will reclaim you.

Jordan (voice only): Say what? Where am I? Where’s my body?

Stewart: Concentrate hard and recollect your energy into one form, Green Lantern.

Jordan: How? I can’t!

Stewart: It would feel as overwhelming as getting tased by a million volts of electricity, like you are containing the energy of the sun.

Jul 6, 2018
How To Play MIDI music files on Windows 10 with VLC Media Player

If you missed being able to play MIDI music files on Windows by default, now you can play those tunes you remember again with VLC Media Player version 3.0+. Apparently, there was a security flaw in FluidSynth for VLC version 2.0.x, so MIDI support was dropped until version 3.0+. So download the latest version 3.0.3 (as of this post) along with the free soundfont file VLC recommends, configure Fluidsynth to point to the soundfont through VLC settings, and you’ll be listening to those old video game tunes in no time!

Follow the instructions here:

Jun 25, 2018
Fanfic: Batman and Joker Catch a Train

Batman and Joker Catch a Train
A Fan-fiction By Chongchen Saelee

It’s near sunset in Gotham City and at Gotham Train Station, the miserable Gotham citizen rat passengers were scurrying on and off the grimy, rusted, piss-stench cars, just getting off of work or headed to work, going home, dropping off the molly, off to see a cheap hooker or two, the usual.

Gotham was never a quiet, peaceful city. The cold, dry, midnight blue air always seemed to be filled with gunfire, police car sirens, some pimp and his whores arguing about money, babies crying, and doors slamming in shadows where doors couldn’t possibly exist.

There was a commotion in one of the rear cars of the high-speed train, and as usual, Gotham City Police Department would respond late or not at all, even if someone was bleeding to death and the police dispatch center lit up with calls. As the sun finally turned dark purple and crept into the dark horizon of Gotham’s cityscape, the crowd was murmuring and surrounding a colorful scene in that rear car.

The music started, blasting from some crudely duct-taped smartphones attached to amplifiers, and the sound of kazoos and exploding party poppers filled the crowded car as the train screeched into motion. And from within the mass of Gotham passenger rats came a distinctive, falsetto, almost hawk squawking laughter, a purple suited, white face-painted clown, with green unkept hair, and a smile that seemed permanently fixed to his plasticky face. He was juggling, doing pratfalls, telling humorous raunchy jokes, and was so charming, even the dripping snot-nosed children with the dirt smeared faces were laughing their little faces off, tugging their tired disheveled mother’s coats for a quarter to give to the clown.

“Here you go, mister, a shiny quarter! I like you!” Said the doe-eyed, cherry cheek child to the purple clown man.

“Oh-ho-ho, so generous and such good taste for your age, you sweet cherub, you!” The crazy clown snatches the coin with uncontrollable hostility from the boy’s tiny outreached hand and pretends to pocket it, only to throw it over his shoulder and continuing his antics. He seemed distracted as though panhandling wasn’t his main purpose being there.

It would take a mere 15 minutes for the high-speed train to make it from this side of Gotham to Gotham City Harbour. That would be more than enough time for the fireworks display.

The Gotham citizen rats erupted in applause as the purple suited clown man was doing a silly handstand and clapping with his feet for his finale. They were poor, but they showered him with cash and coins to show their appreciation, but he still didn’t seem to even notice it. It was like rain falling on a sad clown who had no umbrella. Except this guy couldn’t frown, and his eyes never blinked, only a manic piercing stare into nothingness.

He flipped back up onto his feet and brushed off the money from his shoulders like it was a nuisance.

“Thank you! Thank you! I’m glad you all enjoyed my show! There might be another in 15 minutes! Please stick around for an encore. The name’s Joker! The clown prince of crime!” He pulls out a colorful, cartoony long shafted pistol and poses as if he were a villain on a wanted poster. The crowd erupted in laughter.

The lights in the car start to flicker and…

Clink! BOOM!!!

The trains emergency brakes screech on as sparks from the metal track rain past the windows horizontally. The rats scatter and scream. Joker unusually remains calm and poised, raises his pistol and starts randomly firing into the crowd, wounding whoever, whatever. It’s not like you could tell by looking at his face what he was thinking.

The side of the car was in flames where the mounted bomb had exploded, and the train was speeding fast to Gotham City Harbor.

The rats have all seemed to abandon this dimly lit car, sprayed with blood and bullet holes, dead and dying strewn about here and there, looking like a bloody orgy just happened. Joker nonchalantly walks to a seat where an old man was bleeding out from three bullet wounds in the back and kicks him over, steals his seat. Joker presses his temple against the bloodstained window and looks longingly out at the streaks of lights and shadows passing by, he’s waiting for someone. Joker taps the window with the smoking barrel of his color gun a snippet from Strauss’ Die Fledermaus. His eyes start to sparkle as though it triggered somekind of emotional response. Cartoony bell sounds and springs played in his head as he imagined Tom and Jerry pounding each other with giant yellow mallets.

Then, against the full ghoulish greenish yellow moon, the silhouette of a giant monster bat soared into view, cutting across the hard mechanical lines of the dark skylines, like the open hand of the devil reaching down from the dark clouds.

“He’s coming for my soul! The bat-devil!” Joker whispers with glee to himself. Joker eagerly reloads his pistol, his hands shaking with excitement, licking his lips like a hungry dog.

The Batman has emerged from the shadows for his night patrols. He is Gotham’s Dark Knight, the protector of the weak and rotten rodents of this crumbling city. He is the physical manifestation of the pain, sorrow, anger and things unholy that flowed through the yellow piss blood of the city. The irony was monsters like The Joker cut open wounds on Gotham City and monsters like The Batman would mend the wounds by making another cut to distract from the pain. The city would eventually heal, but would have horrible scars to show for it.

The Joker throws his feet up onto the neck of the now dead old man and reclines, flipping through images on his taped-up smartphone as though he’s looking at baby pictures. In the smartphone screen, there is a crude drawing made in Microsoft Paint of his evil scheme.

1) Infiltrate Gotham City Train car and create a lovely scene to lure in Gay Bats
2) Take a selfie with all the “tired” party attendees
3) Keep the audience in suspense as the flaming train heads straight to Gotham City Harbor where a pile of explosives is rigged to blow up the entire harbor when the train arrives there
4) Laugh and point at crispy Batman crawls out of the wreckage
5) Fly away on a purple and white striped sleigh with green reindeer and grab a pizza

Joker literally pats himself on the shoulder as his mad scheme seem to be going along flawlessly.

Meanwhile, Batman has already pieced together Joker’s predictable plot using his high tech forensic analysis artificial intelligence micro-computer. Batman has called into the Gotham City Harbor Train station supervisor to clear the area as it is rigged to blow. And there is no time to grab the Bat-Jet to remove the bombs!

Batman is gliding towards Gotham City Harbor Train Station with his bat-glider. He calls Gotham Police Commission Gordon to warn him of Joker’s latest terrorist attack on the train station.

“Gordon. Batman. Joker rigged Gotham Harbor Train Station to blow! Trying to intercept now! Do what you can.” Batman HATED Commissioner Gordon as he felt burdened to do Gordon’s job for him.

“Batman, this is Commissioner Gordon. I got the calls. I have my best men headed to the train station now! How bad is it?” Gordon responds over the secret encrypted channel.

“Very bad.” Batman scoffs at Gordon’s stupid response.

“Do we have much time til it blows?” Gordon asks.

“You have less than 10 minutes to clear the area. I’ll do what I have to do to balance out the situation.” Batman says.

“You better not do what I think you’re going to do, Batman!” Gordon pontificates.

“Then come and stop me, you useless old man!” Batman screams into his micro-communicator, offended. He shuts it off.

“God damn it, Batman!” Gordon screams into his cel phone, as he speeds down the pissy Gotham streets in the passenger side seat of a police cruiser with Detective Bullock driving with a heavy foot on the gas pedal.

“More bloodshed, Jim?” Bullock looking grim and concerned.

“Yeah, Harvey. Yeah.” Gordon goes solemn and silent for the rest of the ride to the scene.

Batman slams down at Gotham Harbor Train Station terminal, ripping off his bat-glider, no time to fold it up. Using his bat-x-ray bomb detection visor, he finds the cluster of bombs mounted on the tracks, but the pile is too big! He can’t carry them all himself, he would need at least a truck and there just isn’t enough time!

Batman scans the terminal and there is still human life in the area, some watching at dangerously close distances. Batman already knows these rats are going to die when the bomb goes off and he won’t be able to save any of them.

Batman drops down into the tracks with his nightvision lights on and using his bomb defusing AI robot tool, he removes as many as he can in about a minute. Clutching the bombs to his chest like a football, he rushes to his bat-glider, straps it on, and takes off again, towards the oncoming flaming train!

Gordon is staring out the side window, looking somber and depressed, having his first memories of the arrival of The Batman. The Batman emerged from the steamy shadows and saved his life when he was knocked over the head with a pipe and about to be robbed by some young punks. Gordon was on the verge of retirement, almost 70 years old and climbed his way up the crooked and corrupt Gotham Police Department ladder because he was the only good cop left in Gotham. In effect, he didn’t have any real power and was just on display for political reasons. Gotham Police Department was actually run by the mafia.

Had Batman not saved his life that night, Gordon would be sleeping less soundly at night, although he still tosses and turns at the thought of Batman still out there fighting chaos with more deadly chaos, completely lawless and no lawman would dare stop him. The second time Gordon encountered The Batman, Batman again saved Gordon’s life but by hanging the gunman by the neck off a rafter. Gordon screamed in horror, of course, and begged Batman to cut the line, but Batman had already disappeared into the shadows. By the time support arrived, the gunman’s neck already snapped under the pressure, and it happened too quick for Gordon to even register the guilt.

The third time Gordon encounter The Batman, Gordon made the stupid mistake of firing his gun at Batman, who was about to drop some poor criminal some 30 stories to his death, showering the streets below with stolen cash. It happened so quickly. Gordon shouts for Batman to drop the perp. Batman doesn’t startle too easily and drops the perp. Gordon pulls the trigger. Batman gets hit in the arm but lunges at Gordon and gives him what seems like two cinder blocks punches to the face, disorienting him for half and hour. Batman barks at him, “Don’t fire at me again! Next time I’m taking your head clean off!” And he sorta just vanishes into thin air like smoke or a ghost or something.

Gordon is an old man. And he was afraid of monsters like The Batman. In his youth, he may have been able to have a fighting chance in hand-to-hand combat with Batman, but now he’s pushing 70 years old, and life in Gotham isn’t glamourous or rewarding, so it takes a toll on the mind and body. Anyone can hold and shoot a gun, but it’s not enough to stop monsters like Joker and Batman from burning down the city. Gordon knew he was just another helpless old man.

Batman was soaring towards the flaming train. His human bystander salvation algorithm bot calculates that there will be approximately 40% human bystander survival rate. Those 40% were the rat passengers that scurried to the back of the train. The other 60% had scurried to the front of the train cars. Batman didn’t hesitate. He would detonate the bomb in the front of the train, dislodging the back cars saving those passengers, but he wouldn’t be able to save the others and hopefully catch Joker in the explosion. That fiery wreck would either stop or continue towards the station anyway, but at least it slows the train down, giving those stupid bystanders at the station time to flee. At least, that was Batman’s plan.

Batman swoops as close as he can towards the front of the train and slaps the bombs to the grille with fancy black combustible adhesive from his utility belt. He watched the face of the train conductor as he swooped by, as if time stood still, the conductor with a face of lost hope and fear. It is the same face Batman has seen his entire life, on those he has personally lost and could not save. And when the bomb exploded, the bright fiery orange, red, yellow flames engulfed the metal and glass, and the conductor’s face lit up as though he was crossing over to a better place, better than life in Gotham City.

The train split into pieces, cars exploded open like a watermelon dropped from a building, some segmented passengers still alive, crawling half-bodied down the bloody aisles, climbing on twisted metal, clinging onto bent steel frames scratching along chain link fences lining the track.

“Good. That was good. You can do this!” Batman thought in a cold and calculating manner.

As the first train car started rolling into a giant fireball, turning perpendicular to the track, pushing the other cars off the rails into a giant pile of fiery metal, Batman knew he still needed to detach the remaining cars. He had a couple of bombs left. But then…


And what followed sounded like a laughing hyena being tortured or a hawk caught in a net. Batman looked down at his gut and his right arm had gone slightly limp. He had dropped all but one bomb. Joker has shot him in the abdomen. Knowing he will bleed to death if he doesn’t land and patch himself up, he dives straight for Joker, who is standing a top a pile of charcoal corpses with the car ripped open like a can of tuna. Joker is fiery aimlessly at Batman and seems to have unlimited ammo, he just empties clip after clip and smacks them back in.


Batman hits Joker like a linebacker, the bat-glider wrapping around their twisted bodies like somekind of twisted demonic birthing. Batman peels himself off of Joker, rips his bat-glider off, and steps back, clutching at his open wound. He takes the bomb with his good hand and starts rubbing some of that black combustible goo on it and slaps it to the metal floor next to his feet and charred corpses.

Joker, who looks like he’s just been sat on by an elephant, crushed into some seats with the bat glider poles impaling into his sides and limbs, starts to laugh. In his hand is his taped-up smart phone doo-hickey device, which is now beeping and has an LED light flashing. Joker’s eyes slowly roll towards the device making a loud smacking sound of this dry eyeballs on wet eye sockets.

“I got you here, faggot! Now watch what present I brought for you. The bat-devil can take my soul, or follow the prize that’s in the big numbered box at the end of this radio signal!” Joker utters out, still full of energy, seemingly with no pain.

Batman rips the device from Jokers hand. On the screen, Joker has already triggered the track to switch up ahead.

“You have to be two-faced to think of two solutions.” Joker taunts Batman, cackling like a demon.

Batman looks down at the bomb he placed on the floor ticking away. Then he looks at the car to the rear, full of people screaming in horror. Batman tosses the smartphone device into Joker’s lap and boots Joker in the face like it was personal, splitting Joker’s face into two, looking like someone just dumped a can of tomato soup on his face. Joker laughed the entire time he was getting his face kicked in, but eventually stopped to a gurgling silence.

Batman then rushes to the train coupler and starts kicking it, hoping he can free it. Luckily, the train maintenance was so negligent, the coupler was completely rusted. Batman using his steel-heel boots was able to get it crumbled and free with some effort, knowing his legs are going to be sore tonight… if he makes it home alive!

And KABOOM!!!! The bomb goes off, sending Batman into the rear car, covering all the screaming passengers in glass and shrapnel. But the force exerted by the explosion was enough to push the rear car away, giving them just enough distance to catch the switched track.

The fireballs of trains eventually reached Gotham Harbor Train Station and there is a horrific explosion. Loud enough so all of Gotham could hear it, but wouldn’t even wake the most hardened baby sleeping in a cradle.

Gordon and his cops arrive a few minutes too late. But Gordon looks at all the scurrying rats fleeing from the burning train station, and in a somber but uplifting moment, he realizes that those rats were alive because of Batman.

“Golly! What the hell! Jim, are you seeing this?” Bullock screams in horror.

“Yeah, Harvey. It’s Gotham City.” Gordon says. Gordon walks around in circles for a bit with his hands on his cracking hips, then breaks down, crouching and head falling between his knees sobbing.


Mar 29, 2018
The Real Shape of the Globe
The Real Shape Of The Globe

The Real Shape Of The Globe

The Real Shape of The Globe
By Chongchen Saelee

Most depictions of the globe is an oversimplification, a mapping projection made by cartographers so it is easier to read and navigate.

But the actual physical earth is not a perfect sphere. If anything was a perfect sphere, it would be the Earth’s atmoshphere. Everything else is irregular. So to map the physical land to a perfect sphere is inaccurate.

So if you were to fly a literal straight path from point-to-point, there would be no curve like how some animations depict it. You would actually travel faster and shorter distances.