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Too lazy to eat healthy? Then just eat kale with every meal. Since kale is packed full of all sorts of vitamins, you can get all your nutrients in one meal instead of having to find all the foods that will provide you with it.
Granted, you might not enjoy kale raw. It’s quite bitter and fiberous. But if you don’t mind spending an extra minute or two chewing kale like a cow, then you might benefit from it in the long run.
Besides, it’s goddamn cheap! I can buy a bundle of kale from my local Walmart for only $0.98!!! I can eat for a whole week knowing damn well I’m getting all my vitamins every day.
All my years eating mayonnaise in sandwiches and egg or tuna salad and it never occurred to me to learn what it actually was. It wasn’t until I watched a clip of popular TV chef Gordon Ramsay show exactly how simple it is to make mayonnaise. Did you know all mayonnaise is simply beaten eggs and oil? Yeah. That’s all it is. So when you have that egg and bacon sandwich slathered with mayo, you may actually be eating twice as many eggs in one meal! And you wonder why you put on so much weight.
But point being, if you are looking for a cheap calorie boost, and you don’t have eggs lying around, then why not make yourself a literal mayo sandwich? I’ve done it and it works wonders. And strange how a jar of mayo seems to last longer than a dozen of actual eggs doesn’t it? That’s because oil doesn’t rot. When you mix the oil in with the egg proteins (that actually can rot), then it changes the nature of it. Granted, you’re also eating a lot of oil too, but eggs be eggs. And the oil may actually make it taste better. It always makes your fast food sandwiches taste better!
So if you a po boy, go make yeself a mayo sandwich and not be ashamed about it. Trust me, it is literally THE SAME THING as eating egg sandwich!
I know I can’t possibly be the only adult here to make the correlation. Why is it that very “adult foods” seem to have such close tastes to genitals? I’m not trying to be juvenile here (in this case, you’d have to be a sexually-active juvenile to be able to even relate to this). Because adults like to throw around “aphrodisiac” this and that, when in actually these foods don’t do shit for people’s libidos.
And I reiterate, unless you’ve engaged in oral sex, you won’t possibly be able to relate to this article. Unless you’ve eaten said “adult foods”, then you won’t be able to make the correlation either. Anyway, here’s my observations on those “adult foods”: (more…)
Empty bowl of pho
Filled me warm inside
With essential ingredients
Rice, spice, beef, and scallions
Enough to keep me alive
Oh, it’s not too hard to make
It’s quite simple actually
The broth is boiled water and beef bones
Rice noodles and the rest is up to you
Don’t you have clue?
That is why
The bowl is empty
I’m going for seconds
How about you?
